Family or money?

I came from a huge family in the Philippines, growing up with the presence of Aunties and Uncles, cousins, grandparents, and all relatives in the province.  I got used to the family noise around me, to the extent of feeling suffocated with their presence. But I can’t complain. Now that I live in the UK and no extended family to bond with us, esp with our only daughter (the only niece & grandchild of my husband’s family), I miss having all of them around. There were so many times that I just felt like packing our things and move back to Philippines but because I respect my husband, and his mother who has been always good to me, I can’t just leave. I regret not going home earlier to look after my mother who was ill, who loved my family so much, who spoiled my daughter in her own small ways. My Filipino family loves my daughter, and I really wish they are just around us. In the UK, it’s only the three of us, my husband, me and our daughter. That’s why I devoted my  time to my only daughter who needs her family the most, esp she’s growing up too fast, and has so many activities that need full time support from the family. My husband works so hard and his attention is divided between us and his family. He is torn between his parents and us. I understand that we sometimes have to make sacrifices to be there for our parents. I’ve been there and it’s even worse for me as I’m away from home and I only get to speak to my family on the phone or through Skype. I used to call my Mom everyday to ask how she was, even for 5 minutes. Used to as she has passed away last year. None of my husband’s family supported me (except for buying my plane ticket), not even a condolence card from them. I had to beg and ask help myself if they can finance my flight ticket, as our funds have gone to my mother’s hospital bills. None of them volunteered any help, I had to beg and cry for help. It was that tough. I needed financial support to pay my Mom’s hospital bills that reached a total of over half a million pesos. I tried to ask for a little contribution but not even a pound to contribute for my mother’s hospital bills. Well they didn’t really know how bad it was for me and my family to be in this crisis, because they have always been privileged in the UK and none of them know how it feels like to lose a mother. If my Mom was alive, she’ll find a way to fund her own hospitalization. She’s helped so many relatives, sent her half brothers and sisters to school, her nieces and nephews to school, sheltered them, without anything in return. And all of them didn’t forget my mother when we needed help. And right at that moment, when funds started coming in from relatives and my Filipino friends, I knew exactly my real family. Filipinos are so good in helping no matter how much they hate their family sometimes. Love over hate. Family is family. We will always help our family members esp in times of loss, as hospital bills and funeral expenses are so expensive in the Philippines. Only my husband supported me in the family. Thanks to my relatives in  the Philippines and  from all over the world, they all sent their financial help to get Mom’s body out of the hospital. Some friends also gave their support, mostly the Filipino friends. Hospitals in the Philippines will not release a dead body until you settle your accounts. Thank God we were able to manage to pay a quarter of the whole fee, and allowed us to pay installments. Yes, Filipinos are very understanding people. We believe that money can be replaced but not your family. My family isn’t perfect either but one thing we have is we know how to help each other. When someone passes away, it is normal to give financial support to the family of the deceased, even if it’s £1, it doesn’t matter. Every little helps. Even with Filipinos in the UK, we still practice our traditions. We help the needy. This is something British people will never understand as they are spoiled in this country. Free healthcare, free education, benefits if you are out of job, etc. But we don’t get this in my country. I love my country. People say it’s poor but we have so much LOVE over there esp in times of family crisis, and that’s what we all need.  🙂


GIVE from your heart…

I couldn’t share this at once after I watched it because it reminded me of what we’ve been through last year with Mommy. The woman’s reaction the moment she saw the cost of her Dad’s medical bills was exactly how I felt. No one will ever know that feeling in the UK as we don’t pay hospital bills here, but I felt her pain even if this is only a commercial. Mommy has been laid to rest, and we still haven’t completed the payments for the hospital bills. Miracles just happened one at a time, and that’s because of people with big hearts and kind enough to GIVE. So many people go through the same situation, and it just made me want to thank, once a again, the people who helped us financially to get through this trial. May the blessings we received from you be tripled as you receive yours back from HIM. Thank you. ♥