18 years of happy marriage….

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My husband and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary yesterday, 22nd July. Our first wedding was in Uxbridge, London, in 1999. The simplest wedding you can ever imagine. We did not really spend anything on that day. We did our small reception at my in-laws’ house and had very few guests. Nothing fancy.  We did our big wedding in Manila, where my over 200 relatives live. Haha Yes, we saved our money for our big church wedding in Manila in 2000.

It’s been 18 years, and when you have a partner who loves you dearly with all his heart, accepting just the way you are with his unconditional love, life is beautiful. I feel that every single day since we got married. Of course, you can’t avoid the ups and downs in marriage but what makes ours different is we are together in every way. We have the same interest, same passion, same craziness. Our daughter knows exactly what I’m talking about. She grew up with a very loving atmosphere.

Recently, a mother and daughter, supposedly old friends whom I considered family since I lived in Germany, accused me and my family of faking our happy posts on Facebook. That I try to portray a happy life but in reality, I’m a vile person. Well, it’s my turn to hit back darlings and I am not sorry for what I’m about to say.

All my family and friends know, those who are close to me know that I speak my mind on social media. I don’t hide my feelings. If I am angry, I express it. If I’m happy, it is infectious that everyone could feel that happiness. I am probably one of the most honest person you’ll ever encounter. But to accuse me of FAKING happiness, that is them, and it’s something they obviously do and in fact, going through. They obviously feel so jealous of a great relationship we have as a family. I was obviously being watched closely by these people all these years without knowing that this is how they have always seen me – VILE.  Well, what can I do with that?

This person you’re calling horrible is the person who cancelled all her schedule every time you were around London, just to meet up with you and your family. This person is the person who saved her hard earned money for her trainfare, so when you’re finally over, she has money to pay for her expenses. This vile person never forgot to greet your birthdays on Facebook and kept in touch wholeheartedly. This person ignored your provoking comments on Facebook just because you hate her President. This person gave up her performing career to focus on family, and be there for her child, and always been happily married. This person is so loved by her husband that he pampers her everyday in simple ways. This person would rather have an enemy than be FAKE to anyone.

I just wish that they would look at themselves in the mirror first because they don’t look pleasant in my eyes either.

And eversince they found out that I am a Duterte supporter, they have attacked me on Facebook because of our political differences. Isn’t that pathetic? Politics, Religion, and friendships. Not a good mix really. They ruin all relationships. I don’t react on what they post on Facebook, but they always had something to say on mine.

Lastly, I am confident that all my posts on Facebook are genuine, honest, real and ME. What you see is what you get. That’s me. It’s a pity that some people are too jealous of people like me who can freely speak their minds. I really don’t care about who likes me or not. I have one amazing man who truly loves the real me and who sees me beautifully. All my posts about how caring my husband is, they are all true. For 18 years of our happy marriage, he made me feel special. Made breakfast in bed every single day when he’s around and not busy. He didn’t make me feel like a slave unlike other husbands who are so bossy, and just expected their wives to cook for them all the time. My husband and I have a healthy relationship, not perfect, but we are happy. We are together in every way, same interests in life. At least my husband is not a boring man. He’s fun to be with and not too intellectually boring.

Never insult my family. You know nothing about our journey and the trials we’ve survived. Our daughter is so proud of her parents, who are not couch potatoes at our age – just sitting down, pigging out, getting fatter and fatter, doing nothing. I am 46 years old, and my husband turned 60 last month. This photo was taken yesterday. Our daughter has the most hardworking parents inspiring people to take care of themselves, get fit, achieve their goals and be happy.

These people always talked about people’s lives. All I can say now is SAD. It is very sad that your true colours were just revealed now, when you have been feeling this against me for so long. I wasted my time and money travelling to London just to see you. Goodbye,  B family.  We will not miss you at all.  I never had a good laugh with your company, and that’s the truth! Call me stupid, idiot, but I’d rather be one than to pretend upper class with a pretentious accent, that is obviously Visayan no matter how hard you try to be Bri-ish. LOL

My advice:  Remove people in your life who are not happy with your success, and simply not happy for you. Never be afraid to be YOU.

 

 

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18th May 2017… D Day…

D Day! D day I realized I needed my life back and make a real decision. Time to take control again of my life and focus on the important things. Facebook dominated people’s lives for so many years now, and I’m one of them. Not Facebook’s fault, my fault. I allowed it, we allowed it.
I am no longer going to be active there. I rarely pay attention on people’s posts anyway, but when I do, I directly say my opinion to the one who posted it, and I don’t go around bitching about it. Unlike some people I know, they are so patronizing on Facebook, but very good in stabbing you in the back too. I really speak my mind and whether you like it or not, I will say it. How you read my post is your responsibility. Here’s how I deal with things on social media – As long as my name is not mentioned, I will not take it personally. But if you name and shame me, you are banned in my life forever! You won’t hear again from me. I am not a war freak person, but I will just pretend you’re dead. I do defend some people though esp if it’s an act of bullying or racism.  Other than that, I mind my own biz. So why am I leaving Facebook then? Because I have had enough! It became so filthy.

I have been receiving non-stop private messages from people who sell products like dietary supplements, natural pills (as they describe them), but I am not interested in buying nor selling them. First, I don’t believe in any pills. Second, I dislike any artificial vegetable or fruit processed supplements turned into pills. Nothing is natural about that. I do not reply  to them but they can’t seem to read between the lines. Find a way of selling without annoying people. My mother was the best sales person. She had a great technique in winning clients, and maintain friendship with them. And during her days, there was no internet. Meet people, talk to them. Organize a party and introduce your products. Anything in writing is always misinterpreted. Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson.

People become too familiar about each other’s business on Facebook to the extent of competing against each other. Who leads a better life kind of thing. They just keep topping each other. It makes you really want to puke sometimes. I call it Bragbook more than Facebook. I’m guilty of bragging too when it comes to my family. I brag about them all the time. Though we’re not perfect, they’re my treasure. 😀

It was nice reconnecting with so many friends in the past and I had a great laugh with you all, but Facebook didn’t really do anything good for me. I lost friends because of it. At least I can have a normal morning now without seeing 20 selfies from the same person.  Either her face, her fat legs, her senseless posts asking for attention – no more of those unpleasant poses.

Most of all, it makes me feel sad when you know some people well and they post the opposite on Facebook, like who is this person trying to be someone she’s not? I know one who is pregnant at the moment in her mid 40s, telling people she is ok but deep inside she is depressed. She’s been depressed for so long that she won’t even acknowledge it.  Yep, keep convincing the world honey because that’s what matters to some people, how the world perceive them. SAD.

Facebook made me sick already. I can no longer let any social network control my life. I need to be in control, and that starts now.

D DAY!  New beginning…

 

Remembering our Wedding day…

9th March, 2000 – our church wedding day in Manila, Philippines. It was our second wedding actually as we got married in civil ceremony in London in July 1999. We really planned our wedding in Manila as my family and relatives were mostly there. My relatives and friends came all the way from USA, Germany, Canada, UK, Cebu, Pangasinan. It was indeed a grand reunion of people closest to our hearts. Garry’s brother, Bob, came from London. That’s his first time in Asia and he had a blast.

I remember flying to Philippines twice in three months whilst planning our church wedding. I even spent Christmas with my family there and had a brilliant time. I don’t know how I managed to put an international entourage. All my best friends from childhood who are now in America, to High School, to College, were there. Out priest was the brother of my High School bestfriend. It was so special. But I guess when you know you have found the right person you want to be with for the rest of your life, suddenly everything seems to be easy.

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I was a beautiful bride, if I may say so. Ehem! Haha  My good friends made me look so beautiful in that beaded Indian silk gown, designed by my lovely friend. My make-up was just perfect as it wasn’t too dark, and it was very appropriate for a blooming bride.

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My parents were still around during our wedding day. My dad passed away in 2003, three years after my wedding. My Mommy passed away in 2012. Mommy was able to visit us in the UK, when I was due to give birth. She was able to enjoy her granddaughter, who was born in 2002.

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To my super loving husband who made me feel special all these years, I love you. I have no regrets after 16 years of being married to you. No one can ever replace you in my heart. Most of all, we were blessed with a beautiful daughter.

Happy 16th Wedding Anniversary, Garry!  ❤

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Thank you 2015…

This is the first I am writing to update all our family and friends around the globe the kind of year we’ve had. This year was all about moving on from our losses around this time last year. The last three years had been very hard for our family. My Mommy died in the Philippines in 2012, and just last year before Christmas, both my in-laws passed away. We’ve had the hardest test in our lives as Alyanna was very sad losing all her grandparents. But 2015 gave us a chance to breathe again, to move on and start our lives without Nan and Grandad.

Despite the heartaches, we just focused on our family – building our lives, finding light from grieving, and just staying together to support our girl. Not many friends understood it but we can’t do anything about that. We are only grateful to the ones who were there for us.

We are so proud of Alyanna for being such a good girl. We have received outstanding news from her school regarding her academic excellence and positive attitude towards her studies. We don’t know how she was able to balance her studies, dance exams,  dance displays, festivals, and at the same time playing the part of Dorothy in Showco’s production of The Wizard of Oz in Summer. The first half of 2015 was unbelievably busy. It was very hard but we were grateful Alyanna had all these activities to focus on.

Last Christmas, we were fortunate to be able to go away in the sunshine. It gave us a little break from the stress of arranging two funerals within a month. It was unimaginable! I saw how stressed Garry was, driving to London everyday, teaching his fitness classes and at the college, doing auditions for FLAMES (the musical play he directed). He was all over the place. See the job I had to do with my family alone? It was tough.

During Summer, both of us were doing our training  for my FitSteps and his Body Jam, and setting up classes. We still found time to take our girl out within UK to make the most of her summer holiday.  We both love our fitness, so now we got into teaching it as well (aside from other things that we do). Keeps us sane and fit. Haha Garry did a small musical play in London called FLAMES. He had really good reviews and hoping more will happen next year.

Blessings have already started and hoping it will continue in 2016.

May you all have a wonderful Christmas and All the best for the New Year!

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That’s what friends are for?

I have questioned the definition of ‘FRIENDSHIP’ since I have been treated unfairly, used for their own convenience, been talked about unjustly, and been bossed around constantly.

I am not perfect myself. I made a lot of mistakes in my life. Pleasing wrong people was one of my mistakes. I used to tolerate how they made me feel but then I’ve learned to fight. I’ve learned how to defend myself. I remember posting this Four Phantoms with Nicole Scherzinger on Facebook singing at the Royal Variety Show here in the UK, the next thing I knew, I was being belittled by an old colleague for appreciating it. That these celebrities are taking away theatre jobs from trained musical people. Yep, and I’m the one with a ‘small mind’?

I made myself proud the moment I stood up for myself after being trapped in a ‘one way friendship’ for years and from being looked down on by someone who always thought of herself ‘superior’. All these years I never felt inspired by her. Every time I called her, there were no praises or sympathy for me whether good or bad news. My husband always warned me about her, but I never listened and kept pleasing her instead.

True FRIENDS support each other, happy for each other. You don’t stab them in the back.

I knew I was not really being considered their friends when my daughter was not asked by her godmothers to be a flower girl. I was hurt by that snobbish gesture. Yes, I felt that we’re not friends at all because friends don’t do that. I felt that my daughter was not good enough for them. But we still went to that wedding even if it was kinda expensive for us. We paid for the present we were asked to sponsor. We were there to wish the couple. I still kept good friendship with them after that. Forgiveness is always practiced in my heart. Whenever they needed shelter in the UK whilst doing a show, they were welcome in my house. I still treated them nice.

I worked so hard to be good in what I do now. People trust and respect me in Bedford. I’m so proud of what I have achieved outside the performing world. I’m proud of doing fitness too, exercising to look after my health, not for vanity. I have a beautiful man who looks at me everyday like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, who compliments me a lot, who shows his love unconditionally, and interesting to talk to. I have an intelligent and talented daughter. I love being in England. What more can I ask for?

I am not blaming social networks for falling out with a friend. Reconnecting with people you haven’t seen for many years is the hardest thing to do, but in this day and age we have the social networks that make it so easy to send messages to anyone. Scary to be honest. Everything in writing, less talking. And it allowed everybody to cross the line and DISRESPECT others. No matter how good your intention is, it will always be misinterpreted in writing. Sending a prayer is not considered a ‘chain letter’. A chain letter is something with a threat in the end if you don’t forward it to someone, but a prayer is a prayer. And even if you’re not religious to appreciate it, someone remembered you and prayed for you, and it doesn’t require a RUDE reply! If you treat your friend a friend, respect them, be kind with your words, inspire and support them.

The worst for me was finding out that my FULL name, Viven Mercado Noakes, was mentioned on her status, without me knowing it. Thanks to a few concerned friends who told me about it. You guys are my real friends. If she can do it to me, even as godmother of her daughter, then she can do it to anyone, remember that. She knew I have already removed her, so why do such thing to hurt me? Of course, to let the public know that I am the bad person and for her to get sympathy from people who dislike me. Their comments were viewed by thousands of people. You call them friends?

In this case, I’m not proud to have worked with such people.

I rest my case.

Silence is the best response…

It is very hard to reconnect with people you haven’t been in contact with for decades. You actually don’t have any idea how to say ‘hello’ to break the ice.

High School friends, as they say, are the best friends you’ll ever have. There’s nothing like High School life, my Mom used to say. All the fun things happen when you’re in High School. I had a great time when I was in HS, friends were nice to me, bonded with me, and supported me.

When Facebook opened, I started reconnecting with my High School mates. It was great seeing them married, with children, being professionals, living in different countries, happy and successful. I love Facebook for that. It makes me smile whenever I see success stories of my friends. After over 20 years, to see them once again is such a blessing.

Unfortunately, there will always be the ones who are not happy for you and are not quite pleased with your success. The mean girls in High School are still mean after all these years. Disappointing behaviour since most of us are in our 40s now.

I have worked so hard all my life to make my dreams come true. Since I was in High School, all my friends knew how much I loved performing. I was not the most intelligent student but I was always dancing on stage, entertaining people. They didn’t know though that I could also sing as I kept that to myself. I was more active in dancing. That’s what I wanted to do in life, and I am so proud to say that I became my biggest dream.

In College, I started dancing on tv to earn extra cash, joined theatre companies to polish my acting skills, until one day I just found myself doing my dream musical outside Philippines. What I did in my performing career made me the person I am now as a Musical Theatre teacher and Vocal Coach. Now that I am in my 40s, giving back is my goal. I have made so many parents happy seeing their kids grow in confidence, passing their auditions, learning singing techniques, improving their vocal range and performance. It’s such a fulfilling job.

I have learned over the years how to react and behave on social networks. A simple ‘hello’ can lead to an angry post about you, with your name being mentioned. Or one of your 800 friends had been holding grudges against you, taking your posts personal even if it’s not about them, being envious about what you do or have achieved. Or one got angry because of not hearing a swift reply from you and decided to badmouth you. Loads of Chinese whispers, leading to paranoia, resulting to anger, ending in fights.

And to find myself being judged and humiliated by people who have no personal contact with me all these years is simply appalling and disrespectful.

I have learned to NOT reply, and keep my silence. I don’t pay attention to angry people. Others love to jump on the bandwagon even if they don’t know the real story, provoke a fight, stir up stories, ask for attention. I have learned that SILENCE is the best response because once you reply, it will never stop. All I feel about these type of people is PITY. They didn’t grow as a person. They will always find a way to destroy you, even in silence.

Sometimes giving people a second chance by being reconnected with them is not good. Better enjoy your present friends, who know you now. The ones from High School will always remember you the way you were in High School. 🙂

9th March 2000

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Celebrating our 14th Church Wedding Anniversary… Church because we got married in 1999 in London before our Manila church wedding…

Thanking our beloved family and friends for the greetings… xxx

Family time

Sometimes it is unhealthy to read posts on Facebook esp if the new year has just started. Your optimism is being dragged down to a few people’s negativity. I don’t understand some people complaining about the kids being off school too long and that they can’t wait for the school to commence. Well, I feel the opposite. I wish the holidays can be a bit longer to spend more time with my hubby and daughter. We love spending time together.

Although we haven’t been away this year for Christmas, we had a great time. To be honest, it’s not the parties and days out that made my holidays, it’s actually the lazy days we had, all curled up on the sofa watching movies all day or playing board games (not pc games), or simply going for a walk. Simple things like that are priceless to me. I feel sad for those parents who can’t wait to get rid of their kids’ company. I’m a Mum too and I understand that we need a time out sometimes, but not after Christmas. When school starts, our kids are at school all day, and there’s less time to bond in the afternoon after school, that’s why we make the most of the school breaks and holidays.

Our (almost) 11 year old daughter doesn’t mind hanging out with us (I hope I am not speaking too soon lol). Kidding aside, she loves being with her parents. She doesn’t complain wherever we take her as long as we are together. She is easy. But of course, puberty is not an easy stage. I am not saying I don’t get a few issues from her, but in general she is actually easy. She is not a demanding child forcing us to buy her things she wants, nor throw tantrums at home when she’s bored. We are always around for her, and family time is very important to us. Our girl still loves sleeping in our bed, in between her Mummy and Daddy. Sweet. Not all the time though but we don’t mind. We actually love our family cuddles in bed with out little kitty Nala with us too. We know that some day, she’ll grow up and will have her own family too, so we try to cherish every moment we have with her. She knows that she is so loved, she feels it. 🙂

Our kids are only young for a very short time, so spend it well with them. People complain about spending too much money taking the kids out to entertain them. Who says you have to spend a lot of money to entertain kids? There’s no need to spend money to make them happy. Home is the best place to spend time with them. If they are spending too much time on the pc, give them a particular time to play games, and make sure to have time for family dialogue and fun. I don’t know what to do if my daughter sends me a text message to come upstairs and bring her food. N + O = NO! Thank God she is not on Facebook yet. So far, I am lucky that these things are not happening yet. I see a lot of kids on Facebook at the age of 6 or 7. I don’t get it. Our agreement with our daughter is 15. Let’s see if that happens. Fingers crossed. 🙂

All I’m saying is, if we find time for our kids now, they will find time for us too once that moment comes that we need their time for us. LOVE is always the foundation in the family. Show love, you’ll get love.

Nyt everyone… Spread love… xx